Needing answers
by ab89us
Summary: When Deeks is found close to death, the team has to figure out if he tried to take his own life or if someone tried to take it for him.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Alright so this is the first LA story that I've written on my own. It's short, only 4 chapters and it does touch on a subject that some might have issue with. I don't mean to offend anyone by writing about this subject and I'm sorry if it upsets you.

I want to thank Tammy and Mel who both read this before posting and didn't think I was insane.

* * *

Kensi pulled up to Deeks apartment, a case of bear and a bag of greasy fast food on the seat next to her. It was Friday night, and like every Friday, one of them would pick up food and booze while the other would find some cheesy reality show or movie to watch. They would just hang out together and while the time away in companionable silence only to wake entangled in the other by morning.

She got out of the car, quickly grabbing the stuff, and made her way up to Deeks door. The lights were on which meant that he was home which was a good sign. She had shown up to his place before only to find out that he had gone for a late night surf session.

"Deeks open up!" Kensi yelled when she knocked on the door.

When she didn't get an answer, she knocked again and was once again met with silence. "Deeks?" She asked and tried the door, only to find it unlocked.

Pushing open the door, she walked into his place to find his living room empty of any signs that he had been there. Knowing that he wouldn't leave his lights on if he was out, she started to make her way from room to room, being met with the same emptiness each time.

It wasn't until she reached his bedroom that a noise caught her attention. The steady drip of liquid against tiled floors drew her eyes to the slightly opened bathroom door.

"Deeks, are you in there?" She sighed lightly, thinking that maybe he had fallen asleep in the bath…Again. "Deeks I swear, if I walk into the bathroom and you're naked, I'll hurt you."

When she still didn't get an answer, worry really started to set in. And as she reached up and placed her hand against the door, her heart started to pick up pace until it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest at any given moment.

"Deeks," Kensi said again and stepped into the bathroom only to stop short at the sight that she met, a sight that made her stomach contract and her heart stop.

Deeks was on the floor in just his boxers, his skin chalk pale except for the red gashes that adorned each wrist. Blood was pooled around his wrists and under his hands in crimson lakes. A bloodied razor was just a few inches to his side.

It took Kensi a second to shake herself out of her shock and drop to the floor next to him to roll him onto his back and search for a pulse. She let out a heavy sigh of relief when she felt a weak but steady pulse under her fingers as she dialed 9-1-1 with the other hand.

Kensi then dropped the phone to the floor after talking to a dispatcher, and pulled Deeks head into her lap, her hands going to his still bleeding wrists, holding them tightly as if to stop the blood from seeping out.

"Stay with me Deeks, stay with me." Kensi kept repeating, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Before she knew it, the place was swarming with paramedics. One of them had to coax Kensi to let go of Deeks, her fear that if she let go of him she would never see him again was coursing through her system like a drug.

"Ma'am we need to move." One of the paramedics ushered Kensi into the back of the ambulance where she sat in a corner, out of the way.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, not caring that her blood covered hands were staining her favorite jeans. The only thing on her mind was getting Deeks the medical help the he needed, and keeping him alive. She couldn't lose him. She just couldn't lose her partner, her best friend, to something like this.

It was a couple minutes before she realized that the paramedic who had followed her into the ambulance was trying to talk to her.

"What?" She quietly croaked out, her throat feeling incredibly tight and dry.

"Does he have any history of depression?" The paramedic asked.

Kensi wet her lips and shook her head. "N-No." She said.

"Has he ever attempted suicide before?"

"Not that I know of." Kensi shook her head again. "I…He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't try to…"

"Okay." The other paramedic said in a placating way that irritated Kensi.

"I've known him for years. He has never once acted like he wanted to end his life. He would not do this." Kensi stressed.

"Do you know anyone that would want him dead?"

"He's a cop." Kensi answered.

They must have gotten what she meant because they fell silent and stopped asking her questions, instead focusing solely on stopping the bleeding and wrapping Deeks wrists. When they got to the hospital, Kensi was directed to the waiting room while Deeks was rushed to the trauma ward. When he was out of sight, she slipped her phone out of her pocket and sent out an agent in distress signal, knowing that they would all get the alert and location to find her in. It was easier than having to explain everything over the phone.

As predicted, they all showed up quickly, looking a bit haggard and very worried. Sam was the first to spot Kensi, taking in her appearance and stopping short at the crimson stains on her hands and clothes.

"Kensi, what happened?" He demanded to know, crouching down in front of her.

Kensi bit her bottom lip and told them everything that she knew which really wasn't much. When she was done, they fell into silence, contemplating the possibility of Deeks doing something like this.

"Deeks doesn't seem the type of person to do something like this." Callen stated and leaned against the wall behind him.

"I agree." Sam said and sighed. "Plus there are normally signs that someone is going to kill themselves, none of which were shown by Deeks."

"Yeah but if he didn't do this then who did?" Eric asked.

"Deeks a cop, he has enemies I'm sure." Nell pointed out and sank down in the chair next to Kensi who had started picking at her hands.

"Try to kill someone and stage it to look like a suicide…It's possible." Hetty nodded.

"He wouldn't do this." Kensi said with conviction.

Silence fell again and was only broken hours later when a nurse walked into the waiting room and asked for Deeks family.

"How is he?" Hetty asked.

"He's lucky." The nurse said. "Though the cuts were deep and will leave some impressive scars, he was found quickly enough that the blood lose wasn't too substantial. He is on blood transfusions now though to replenish his blood count, but in a few days' time he should be back to normal."

"Can we see him?" Kensi asked.

"You could, but he is sleeping and in fact it wouldn't be surprising for him to sleep for a few days." The nurse stated.

"Ms. Blye, how about you get washed up and visit with Mr. Deeks for a while?" Hetty offered and then looked around at the others. "I think we have some work to do."

"Thank you." Kensi said and watched them leave before she found a bathroom to wash her hands.

She stayed in the bathroom for a while, her hand clasped tightly against the sink as she tried to calm her beating heart and nerves that were still filtering through her. He was going to be okay, he didn't die. He would be able to go home in a couple days.

Taking a deep breath, she walked out of the bathroom and followed the nurse to the room that they had put Deeks in. The first thing she noticed was the he looked so out of place among the machines that he was hooked up to. His wrists were heavily bandaged and he was just as pale as he had been hours ago when she had found him.

The steady beep of the heart monitor and the rise and fall of his chest had her relaxing further. They were confirmation that the pale seemingly lifeless man was indeed alive and going to be fine.

"Visiting hours are actually over but I can give you a few minutes." The nurse said with a small smile.

"Thank you." Kensi said, not taking her eyes off Deeks.

The nurse left moments later with the promise of returning soon, but Kensi didn't pay attention. Her hand slowly reached out and she brushed the tips of her fingers against Deeks stubbled cheek.

"We'll find who did this to you." She said so lowly that only Deeks could hear, if he heard her at all. "I promise." She added and pulled away to turn and walk out of the room, determined to keep her promise to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to all of you that have reviewed and read this so far. This is really more of a testing the waters type of story since I do not feel that I'm very skilled with case writing. I hope you continue to like it.

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Morning came quickly and with it, a group of LAPD officers that worked with Deeks. Hetty had arranged for them to work together to compile a list of people who would want to kill Deeks and make it look like a suicide. She, like the rest of her team, was of the opinion that Deeks would never take his own life. He loved life too much to do something like that.

"Let's face it." Officer Mike Daniels sighed. "Deeks is a cop; we make a lot of enemies quickly. There could be hundreds of people that want him dead."

"Yeah but how many people would go as far as to stage the scene to look like suicide?" Sam challenged.

"That's to say that this wasn't a suicide attempt." Officer Anna Hetch stated.

"No, Deeks wouldn't do this." Callen shook his head. "And if he were going to take his own life, we would have seen signs. Opening up of emotions, the giving away of personal items; none of that happened."

"Okay assuming that he didn't do this to himself, there is still the fact that he doesn't have any defensive wounds." Daniels pointed out.

"And he wouldn't." Eric stated, seemingly showing up out of nowhere.

Callen was fairly certain that the younger man was picking up Hetty's less than desirable skill of materializing out of thin air.

"What do you got?" Sam asked, sitting forward in his chair.

"Tox screen just came in." Eric waved a piece of paper on the air. "Deeks had high levels of Rohypnol in his system. He was more than likely unconscious when his wrists were…Well, you know…"

"Rules out suicide." Nell stated. "There is no way that he could do this to himself while having that high a dose coursing through him at the time."

"Okay so apparently he didn't try to off himself that still leaves us with a very long list of people who would want him dead." Hetch pointed out and gestured to the three pages of names they had compiled.

"Well let's split up the names and see if we can find anything." Callen stood up and looked around at everyone, until his eyes fell onto Kensi who was sitting at her desk and hadn't said anything. "Kensi, how about you come with me and Sam?" He suggested and just got a nod from her.

"Have you gone to see him today?" Sam asked and gazed at Kensi.

"No, I figured the best thing that we can do is find the person that tried to kill him." Kensi explained and climbed into the back of the charger.

"I want to know how someone got into his place without him realizing it." Sam pointed out.

"Crime techs are still going over his place. Once they find something they'll let us know." Callen stated.

The suspects that they brought in and interviewed mostly turned out to be a bust. While some boisterously stated that if they got their hands on Deeks that they would kill him and make sure that he was dead. Others however claimed that being arrested by Deeks had changed their lives for the better and that they would never hurt him.

The list slowly whittled down, a large number of names having been taken off quickly due to those suspects still being behind bars. By the time that they reached the last person on the list, their hopes were down and their patience was running very thin.

"Dude, I wanted to off him I would…"

"Make sure that he was completely dead." Callen finished for the guy sitting across from him in the boatshed.

The man was rather large, taking up about half the table and making the chair under him groan. He had more tattoos on his body that Callen cared to count and so many pierces he practically glowed in the light. His name was Hubert Grayson, best known as Tiny.

"Yeah man," Tiny nodded. "I've heard a few people say they want to off someone else, but not many are dumb enough to target a cop."

"Do you know anyone that would want to hurt detective Deeks?" Sam asked from his spot in the corner where he was leaning against a wall, his arms crossed.

"Yeah sure, but none of them would try and kill him." Tiny shrugged.

Callen and Sam shared an exasperated look before they dismissed the guy and headed back to OSP to meet up with the others.

"Crime techs are still going through Deeks place and testing stuff to see how he got the drug into his system." Nell said when they joined up in the bullpen.

"We were not able to get much of anything from the people we talked to." Daniels explained and looked over at Kensi, giving her a once over with an appreciative look in his eyes that Sam noticed.

"There is only one person that peeked our interest." Hetch announced. "His name is Franklin Reese. Deeks put him away for murder years ago but he was released due to over population. He's at least worth talking to."

"Alright Kensi, how about you go talk to him and see what you can find out?" Callen suggested.

"You've got it." Kensi said and stood up.

"How about I go with you?" Daniels asked and got a disinterested shrug from Kensi.

"Has anyone heard anything about Deeks?" Sam asked before Kensi and Daniels could leave.

"He's still sleeping, but is doing well." Hetty said, popping up behind Callen and making him jump.

"I wonder if he even realizes what happened." Eric pointed out with a frown.

"From what I've gathered, he was out before anything happened so probably not." Nell stated.

"Let's go interview Reese." Kensi said to Daniels and led the way out of the room.

Normally she would be on top of her game, but had found that she was too distracted. Deeks had been hurt before, getting shot twice because someone wanted to draw Kensi out, but this time was different. If she hadn't have shown up to his place when she had, then he would have died there on the bathroom floor. She wouldn't have known that her partner had died until they went back to work on Monday only for him to not show up.

"So you were partnered up with Deeks huh?" Daniels asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"We've been partners for years." Kensi nodded and got behind the wheel of her car.

Daniels got a small smirk on his face and let out a quick chuckle.

"What did you do wrong to get roped with him?" He asked and visibly flinched when Kensi sent a glare his way.

"Deeks is an exceptional cop and a great asset to the team." She seethed. "He's an excellent partner and a wonderful friend that doesn't deserve the crap and scrutiny that he gets from his fellow officers. He may have made some mistakes in the past, but that doesn't mean you have to be an ass to him."

"Whoa, okay, calm down I didn't mean to offend you." Daniels stated with his hands raised in surrender. "He's your friend, I get it."

"Let's just talk to this guy and see if he's the one that did this to Deeks." Kensi heavily sighed and focused her attention on the road, trying to ignore the man beside her.

As it turned out, the guy was no more help than Tiny had been.

"Look I got arrested because I killed someone." Reese stated. "You don't think that Deeks arresting me was something that was needed?"

"That's not what I want to know." Kensi said. "What I asked is if you had anything to do with what has happened."

"I don't know anyone that would go after a cop." He shook his head. "I know I wouldn't."

"Great." Kensi sighed and closed her notebook.

Once the guy left, Daniels turned to Kensi with a slightly annoyed look on his face.

"No one seems to know anything and that was the last person on our list." He pointed out. "We're back to square one."

"Then let's start making another list." Kensi said and walked away and back to her car.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Just one more chapter to go. Oh and I don't own this show...Just in case you were wondering.

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Kensi didn't drive them back to OSP like Daniels thought she would, but to the hospital where she led the way to Deeks room. She showed her ID to the officers that had been place at his room and smiled at them when they let her enter the room.

Though he was still sleeping, he had gotten his color back and looked much healthier, aside from the machines and bandages that he was still attached to.

"Wow," Daniels said when he stepped into the room.

"What?" Kensi asked and glanced over at him.

"Sorry, it's just that hearing Deeks is in the hospital and actually seeing it for myself and completely different." He explained. "Deeks has always been that one cop that no matter what hit him, he always got up and walked away. In fact I heard a rumor somewhere that he had been shot and still managed to kill a suspect that was after him."

"He killed a guy that was going to kill me." Kensi nodded and turned her attention to a nurse that had just walked into the room. "How is he doing?"

"Well as you can see, he's gotten his color back which is great. His heart rate is at a normal pace and we haven't had any issues with blood flow to his hands which is a good sign that his veins are healing properly." The nurse explained.

"When do you think he should wake up?" Kensi asked.

"I'd say he should wake up tomorrow." The nurse said and checked on Deeks vitals.

He then gave them a smile and headed back out of the room.

"You want to solve this before he wakes up don't you?" Detective Daniels asked.

Kensi nodded, but didn't look at him, her eyes were instead focused on Deeks as he slept.

"I want to be able to tell him what happened and that it's over." Kensi explained and looked at Daniels who had an understanding expression on his face.

"Does he know?" He asked and saw her confusion. "Does he know that you're in love with him?" He reiterated.

Kensi scoffed and got an odd look on her face. "He's my partner."

"That' doesn't mean anything." Daniels shook his head. "It doesn't mean that you can't and don't love him. It happens all the time agent Blye and honestly, he's lucky to have someone like you loving him. He's never really seemed to belong anywhere. That was until he started working with NCIS that is."

"We're a family that excepts strays from time to time." Kensi shrugged and let her eyes wonder back to Deeks.

"Deny it all you want." Daniels shook his head and left her alone with Deeks.

She watched him leave and then took the seat next to her partners hospital bed and covered one if his hands with her own.

"You have a lot of enemies Deeks." She sighed and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. "Everyone is trying to find who did this. We found out that you were drugged which is actually a good thing because I couldn't imagine you doing this to yourself. You're important to us Deeks. We can't lose you, I can't lose you."

She hadn't wanted to admit it to the other detective, but he was right, she was in love with Deeks and she couldn't even begin to imagine her life without him in it.

Kensi wasn't sure how long she sat with Deeks before detective Daniels came back with his phone in his hand.

"Agent Callen just called, he said that the crime techs are done and that they've found something." He said.

"Okay." Kensi stood up and followed him out of the room.

Once back at headquarters, they headed to the operations room and were greeted by the team and detective Hetch.

"Okay so let's start." Nell said and looked down at the paper in her hand. "First off all we knew that Deeks was drugged by Rohypnol. The techs tested everything in his place and found remnants of the drug in a bottle of water that he must have drank. They said that there is a tiny needle mark in the cap of the bottle. After he drank the water, it would have taken about fifteen to twenty minutes before he started to feel the effects and pass out. Now going off the assumption that he didn't drug himself and then cut his wrists, the techs looked for any signs of a break in and found that one of the windows had been damaged slightly and no longer locked. They think that someone went through the window, which doesn't leave many people as suspects because the window is tiny."

"So a really small man?" Hetch asked.

"Or a woman." Sam pointed out and had everyone's eyes on him. "Think about it, if a guy broke into his house then he would more than likely shoot Deeks or stab him, not drug him, wait fifteen to twenty minutes and then make it look like a suicide."

"He's right, that would take a lot of patience and a lot of guys are not known for their patience." Nell agreed.

"It would make sense too, I mean with all the times he's gone undercover and had to lie to the woman he was working with…I'm sure he's pissed off his fair share." Daniels stated.

"No offense, but wouldn't it be a bit hard for a lady to move him into the bathroom?" Eric asked.

"Not if she was determined enough." Hetty shook her head. "You would be surprised what even the thinnest of ladies could do if they put their minds to it."

"Okay so let's say that a woman drugged him and dragged him into the bathroom. Why would she take his clothes except for his boxers?" Callen asked.

"Maybe she thought it would humiliate him?" Daniels asked. "Whoever found him would find him mostly naked."

"Okay so let's run with the idea that it was a woman that did this, not a man." Callen said. "Are there any women that you can think of that would want to kill him?"

"We'll do what we did for male suspects and go through his records to see, but to be honest most of the people I see Deeks bring in are men or teenagers trying to be cool or someone they're not." Hetch sighed.

"Or it could be like detective Daniels mentioned, a woman that Deeks hurt while undercover." Sam said.

"Most women wouldn't take getting lied to hard enough to try and kill someone." Kensi stated. "He would have to have done something that she found one hundred percent awful."

"I agree." Hetty said and let out a long sigh. "Mr. Deeks attacker would have to be very angry indeed to drug him, drag him across his apartment, undress him and then cut his wrists."

"I would suggest looking into people that have a history with violence." Sam directed at Daniels and Hetch who both nodded in agreement.

"I suggest that we get to work." Hetty said and left the room with two detectives while Nell and Eric started going through databases.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you to everyone that read this. Like I said, I'm trying to get into case writing and the comments that you have left have helped me a lot.

* * *

The list of women that would want Deeks dead was surprisingly short, consisting of just two people, Charlene Rhys and Amelia Fink. Deeks had arrested both of them in the past on numerous occasions and they had both verbally threatened that when they got out that they would kill him. However, Amelia Fink had a pretty solid alibi since she had been arrested once again and couldn't have made it to Deeks apartment while in confinement, which just left Charlene Rhys.

"Ms. Rhys was arrested by Deeks twice for drug possession, once for mild child neglect, as if there is such a thing. And he also arrested her for breaking into her ex-boyfriends place and trashing it." Eric read off.

"This was before Deeks arrested her one last time for selling drugs to minors which resulted in the death of a fourteen year old. Once she was arrested, Deeks also testified against her in a custody dispute for her children, claiming that she was unfit and that the children would be better off if she no longer had any parental rights. The judge sided with Deeks." Nell continued.

"So she was not only put behind bars but lost her kids…I can see why she'd be angry." Sam stated.

"And she would have had the chance to go after him since she was released from prison a few weeks ago." Eric announced.

"And someone who was into drugs before wouldn't have much of a problem getting their hands on some drugs now. And Rohypnol is a date rape drug and isn't that hard to get a hold of." Callen said.

"Let's go talk to Ms. Rhys." Sam said and led the way out of the room.

Charlene Rhys was almost everything that they had expected her to be. She was deceptively thin with fresh track marks on her arms. Most of her teeth had been rotted out by what Kensi assumed was meth use, and she had a nasty sneer on her face when she first caught sight of them.

"Ms. Rhys, we have a few questions for you about the attempted murder of LAPD detective Marty Deeks." Sam said.

It only took a second for the sneer to vanish from her face and for Charlene to quickly bolt. Sam, Callen and Kensi quickly followed suit, splitting up to cover different areas as they chased after her. Kensi stayed behind the other woman while Callen went to her right and Sam her left.

"Sam cut her off!" Callen yelled out.

Sam didn't respond, but veered to the side only to miss Charlene by an inch. It was Kensi who finally caught up with her, tackling her to the ground.

"Stop running." She gritted into the other woman's ear.

"Get off me bitch." Charlene tried to knock Kensi off her.

"The man that you tried to kill is my partner." Kensi hissed. "He's my partner and someone very important to me."

"Get off!" Charlene tried to shake her again only for Kensi to quickly grab her hands and wire tie them behind her back.

"Why did you try to kill him?" Kensi asked, still pinning the other woman down.

"That bastard took my kids from me! He deserved to die!" Charlene yelled. "He needed to die!"

"Why make it look like a suicide?" Callen asked.

"To make him look weak! Weak people are the ones that take their own lives!" Charlene snarled. "He's nothing but a weak man that hides behind his badge to make him look like he's important, like he matters. But he doesn't!"

"That's where you're wrong." Kensi stated. "Not everyone that commits suicide are weak, and Deeks does matter, he matters very much."

"Get up." Sam instructed and pulled Charlene Rhys to her feet.

He then marched her to his car and called for a cruiser to pick her up. Once she was on her way to the precinct, Sam, Callen and Kensi got back into the car.

"Can you drop me off at the hospital?" Kensi asked.

"I can do that." Sam nodded.

"Thanks." Kensi said and sat back into her seat.

Sam and Callen shared a look as they drove her to the hospital. Once they dropped her off, she headed down the halls and to the room that had been given to Deeks. She peered in and felt a smile spread on her face when she noticed that Deeks was awake and looking around his room a bit bleary eyed.

"Hey there partner." Kensi said, entering his room.

"What the hell happened?" Deeks said in greeting.

Kensi sat down on the edge of Deeks bed and reached out to take one of his hands, running a finger over the white bandage on his wrist. She then explained everything that they knew had happened and that they had caught the woman that had tried to kill him.

"So she's being questioned?" Deeks asked, rubbing at his wrists.

"Yes." Kensi said and let out a small sigh when he laced their fingers together. "Everything will be over soon."

"Good." Deeks wet his lips and gently squeezed her fingers. "You didn't think that I…"

"That you tried to commit suicide?" Kensi asked and saw him nod. "No. I never once thought that you would have done this to yourself."

"What about the team, what did they think?" Deeks asked.

"They didn't believe it either. We know you Deeks, you're part of our team, our family. No matter how much we might tease you or pick on you, you're still very important to us. No one on the team thought for even a minute that you would leave us like that." Kensi explained.

"I wouldn't." Deeks agreed and took her other hand. "I wouldn't leave the team like that and I especially wouldn't leave you."

"Good." Kensi said, her eyes locking with his.

It was then that she saw in his eyes what she had come to accept herself; love.

"You're not gonna get rid of me that easily." Deeks announced and saw her smile.

"I don't want to ever get rid of you." Kensi shook her and welcomed his hand as it settled on her cheek just second before he pulled her into a soft kiss.

Deeks pulled back seconds later to gauge her reaction and felt a huge grin blossom on his face when she closed the space between them in a deeper kiss. Neither of them noticed the small woman was lurking in the doorway with a happy smile of her own.


End file.
